College Cuisine

I’ll venture away from the usual restaurant reviews & articles on local specialities. I’ll touch on a topic, familiar to most and unforgettable – College Cuisine. For those still in school, your entry into college presents you with a license to eat whatever you want wherever you want. Hostelers will be able to understand this statement better.

All students, no matter from which college, will always crib about the food served in the Hostel Mess. This, Tastemaster believes is due to the boredom of repetition. College life is the prime time of a person’s life. If he(she) is made to waste those years eating plain boring old rice and dal every day, he(she) is bound to feel frustrated.Hence, the student turns to more tastier albeit dubious means of sustenance. I digress to point out that in a formal sense, it isn’t exactly sustenance. Its more like satisfaction of the palette rather than nourishment. For nourishment, you have the Hostel Mess & the College Canteen to look forward to.

Our college canteen fare was ‘to the point’ with no fancy items. You couldn’t even dream of getting pizzas or even a Coke in the canteen. (Colas were banned on campus). We had to be satisfied with the humbler pazhampori (bananas dipped in batter and fried), parippu vadas (fried snacks made from dal) and bondas (fried batter with potato stuffings). To quench your thirst, you had regular tea, coffee, milk and also the kattan chaya & kattan kapi (black tea & black coffee – Indianized Cappuccinos) and the all encompassing ‘drinks’. These drinks, could be anything sweet,watery, coloured yellow, orange or green & placed in the fridge. The ingredients & the preparation were suspect, but that didn’t stop us from downing bottles of these after a game or after hours of dancing. (After all, the canteen was at the corner of the ground and stone’s throw away from the auditorium).

Lunch in the canteen was either ‘meals’ which meant regular Kerala fare with rice, sambar, curry, papad and curd or ‘fish meals’ which included a piece of fish. Ofcourse, people could also opt for the chicken biryani (that’s what it was called, though it tasted much different) or veg biryani, the ubiquitious parottas (thick round things belonging to the chappati family, made with maida and lots of oil), the beef fry, beef curry, chicken fry, chicken curry & for the vegetarians, a kadala curry (chickpea) or tomato curry (poor things). With the exception of a few dishes, the fare never varied & people who opted Non-Veg could expect to spend the rest of the lunch break contemplating their lives, while they waited to finish gnawing on a piece of meat. But, we survived. The canteen, with all its faults, had the ultimate USP. It was cheap! It wasn’t too hard on the student’s pocket & thus day-scholars flocked to the canteen. The rates in the canteen seem medieval now that Tastemaster has landed in Chennai.

Now, that the Day-scholars have been represented, I’ll turn my attention to the poor folk condemned to spend 4 years away from their parents- The Hostelers. Agreed, some of the best college days are in hostel, but you have to sympathize with these chaps for being denied the right to tasty food 3 times a day. (Atleast the day-scholars got to have decent breakfast & dinner).
A sample of the worst hostel mess cooking was the “noodles for breakfast” theme. Cooking Maggi noodles for 300 hungry 20-somethings is no fun & I pity the cook for that. But I pity the 300 hungry 20-somethings for eating the noodles more, as even after breakfast, they remain 300 hungry 20-somethings. We could also expect the puttu-kadala(steamed rice & chickpeas), dosas, idlis (stone-hard) and what not. Point is, breakfast was a horrible experience. But that doesn’t stop 300 hungry 20-somethings from stuffing their faces. After all, you’ve to fill your stomach!

Lunch was similar to that in the canteen, except for the choice- there was only one. You had to have the ‘meals’ with a piece of fish thrown in. Veggies could expect culinary masterpieces like burnt lady’s fingers. Dinner was no different, except you could expect fish or chicken biryani, nei chor (literally ghee-rice), chappatis & what not. One peculiarity of Keralites is that they need non-veg everyday. So you could expect either chicken, fish or beef every day. Credit must be given where it is due. There were certain dishes enjoyed by all- namely the fish moily with bread (well, you can’t screw up bread!) and …….and……..Well, I can’t remember anything else.

A festive occasion in the hostel mess was the Feast. If college life gives you the license to eat, Feast allows you to break all the laws of eating. Imagine 300 hungry 20-somethings being let loose on a variety of dishes – pathiri (rice pancakes), biryani, fried chicken, unlimited lemonade, delicious pastries from All Spice, mutton curry, icecream & what not. The Mess would resound with music while the Seniormost batch served the hungry ones (as apart from the mess-staff who usually had the honour). This tradition brings to mind another. The custom of tapping one’s water tumbler on the table twice, to signify you’ve finished eating. Makes a lot of sense actually. The person who thought of it must be given full credit for driving home some decency into the rowdy minds of college students.

Well, that brings to end the In-campus Cuisine. Now more important is the Out-0f-Campus cuisine. This could mean piping hot samosas & puffs from the tiny shop opposite Men’s Hostel (later Ladies Hostel), the inevitable “mango“,”pista” or “grape“, short for juices of the same flavours from the nearby Imam’s shop or a dinner at Everfresh (Who would’ve thought that tiny hotel would’ve merited a mention in a blog!) when the Mess food was too boring. Everfresh was a tiny joint placed centrally between all hostels. They offered a large quantity of dubious meat (claimed to be chicken or beef) at throw-away prices. Though many doubted the legitimacy of the claims, it didn’t stop hundreds of hungry 20-somethings from crowding the place to gorge on it along with parottas and appams for company. This joint, was overcrowded during the days the Mess was closed during holidays. The owner made a killing. Tastemaster particularly preferred the Chilly Chicken, which though oily, tasted great. This along with 6 parottas and the complimentary gravy, washed down with Imam’s “mango” completed a hearty dinner on many a day.

Other hang-outs around the college were the “Sharjah” joints. Actually juice shops, they specialized in the ‘Sharjah Shake’, a milk shake made with bananas & lots of sugar, served ice cold. This was such a rage with the students, that it provoked a series of varieties with exotic names such as “Kashmeera” & “Arabian“. These joints also hawked an authentic Arabian delicacy, the Shawarma. This dish from Iran, consists of a thick piece of bread rolled around pieces of grilled meat & vegetables.

Then,there were ofcourse the thattukadas, road-side eateries which did not boast a name, but had students crowding nonetheless. These were cheaper than Everfresh, and one could fill one’s stomach for as low as Rs.10.

Now for the more sophisticated ones. Everfresh & the thattukadas were boys territory. Girls who wanted to sample these, generally had the food delivered to the hostels. Girls usually chose to hang out at All Spice. A nice place, famous for its cakes & pastries, served decent Continental,Indian & Kerala food. One could order a Pizza or a Hot dog without inviting stares of bewilderment. Tastemaster’s personal favourite was the Chicken Foot-long, Chicken sausage wrapped in a baguette with mozarella cheese & capsicum. All Spice was a regular restaurant & one could also opt for an A-La-Carte menu and was frequented by students & families alike. Simlar joints included Chef King & Ayappa’s, a tiny vegetarian restaurant which served soft hot phulkas & malai kofta and also Andhra Meals.

Recently, there has been a sudden spurt in restaurants providing all-you-can-eat buffets. Xavier’s & Sun Moon being leading contenders. At Xaviers, the food was terrible, and so was the ambience. But people, read boys, went there anyway as they promised 101 items for Rs101. Ofcourse, these 101 items included table salt & pepper. But, boys usually ate what 3 people normally eat whenever they went to Xaviers. Sun Moon was similary priced but had fewer items. Their USP was the ambience. Decorated tastefully in the form of a Naalukettu, A traditional Malayalee house, this restaurant afforded a splendid view of the entire town of Kollam. Girls preferred to go there. (One added reason, why boys also went there, apart from hogging).

Well, I think I’ve covered the complete gastronomic experience one could hope for in Kollam from the perspective of a College student. Taste apart, some of the best times in College were spent over food or discussing it. Be it the humble “mango” one bought for Rs3, or the fancy ‘Flosberry Flop’ one could buy at All Spice after shelling out Rs.50, food bound us together with a spirit of camaraderie of a different plane.

I suppose that college life in any part of India would be the same. So make the most of it. Eat those samosas!

Cheers!