Spice and Ice

When I was a kid, which is to say, I was still in school, the Semia Upma used to be a dish which used to be a last resort snack which I would accept to eat only on pain of death from hunger. However, 4 years of College hardened my stomach & 2 years at work have kept me away from Semia Upma for a long time. Its only when you leave something alone for a long time that you truly miss it. The same can be said for Mum’s cooking. A couple of days ago, a whim seized me and I felt like having Semia Upma. Bought a packet of Bambino’s best and brought it home. I talked my roommate into having Semia Upma for dinner. Actually, it was quite simple, as he had never tasted it before. And the Tastemaster’s word is Law when it comes to food in my house (Since I do all the cooking).

After a quick call to Mum to brush up on the nuances of Semia Upma-ing, I dispatched my roomie to go and buy green chillies and curry leaves. I had brought home a coconut & went over to my cousin’s place to grate it. I spent a sweaty 20 min labouring over the blade & my Sister-in-law was impressed at my debut coconut-grating performance. I brought home the coconut shavings & shoved it in the freezer as dinner was still some time away.

After whiling away sometime online & after doing a few exercises, I called up Amma for the afore mentioned Nuance-gathering talk. She said she had bought a coconut grater & explained where to locate it. I thanked her for the delayed update & she retorted that I never remember anything that is said to me.

My roomie had procured the green chillies, but could not find any curry leaves. After lamenting this tragedy suitably, I proceeded to cook the Semia Upma. Countless recipes can be found online, So I won’t bother with the “1 cup Semia & salt to taste”. I’ll just describe the fun parts.

My roomie had procured some light green chillies that were quite big. I was chopping them for the dish. I had chopped three & I asked if he wanted me to add one more. He said, “I’m a Mallu. I love spicy food” or words to that effect. I then proceeded to bestow some Tastemasterly wisdom, on him: “The lighter & bigger the green chillies, the more likely they are to be used in Molaga Bajjis and the more likely they are non-spicy. When the Tastemaster bestows such pearls of wisdom, my roomies listen and nod their heads obediently.

With a flourish, I proceeded to prepare the Semia Upma. Soon it was done ( Will give Maggi’s 2 minutes a run for its money anytime). After I pronounced “Its done!” to my roomie, I realised that the cocount shavings were still in the freezer. But since it was too late, I consoled myself that I could use it for some prawn curry I’ve been planning. While I was dreaming about my coconut flavoured prawn curry, I noticed, through the corner of my eye, my roomie have a spoonful of the Semia Upma. Through the same corner of my eye, I saw his face turn pink to purple to puce. I figured it must be the Chennai heat. Then, after the customary scraping of the vessel, I too proceeded to have a spoonful.

Vesuvius Erupted!

I blinked through the smoke in front of my eyes. I realized my tongue was on fire. But, being the Tastemasterly type, and being the don’t-waste-any-food type, I managed to finish off the plate of gunpowder flavoured Semia Upma. My roomie did the same with his plate. Actually, inspite of the spice, it was quite tasty.

Getting back to the story, after we finished, we could barely make out each other sitting across the room through the tears in our eyes. I suggested that we buy an Ice Lolly (retails for Rs 4/- and is made by Skei and sold by a dealer quite close to home). My roomie was only too happy to nod his head.

I dashed off on my cycle, metaphorically with my posterior & literally with my tongue on fire. I bought 2 for me & one for him (He said that was enough). I just like the stuff. Not that I felt one wouldn’t douse the fire. Soon I was back with three Pineapple flavoured lollies & we happily licked away to soothe our flaming tongues. After a while, i proceeded to devour my second lolly with relish in a more relaxed frame of mind.

Hence ends the saga of the Semia Upma.

NB: I prepared Semia Upma again today, since my roomie hadn’t had enough of it (he bought a kilo of semia. I think he intends to stave off the drought in ethiopia). He forgot the chillies, and so we liberally sprinkled it with red chilly powder. Though it looked dangerous, it tasted just fine. Oh! And I remembered the coconut shavings today.

Cheers!

PS: Though some elements of this are true, Masala has been added at appropriate places to spice up the story.